In Germany, on August 5^th 2005, as the first female vocalist from Japan, I sang my songs on the stage at the world's biggest metal festival: Wacken Open Air ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wacken_Open_Air ) . Mighty calls of “encore” erupted from all over when I finished my last song.

Japanese society is based on community rather than the individual. Two Japanese proverbs well illustrate this spirit: "長いものにはまかれろ" ("Submit to that which is greater. ") and "出る杭は打たれる" ("The nail that sticks up gets hammered down"). Contrary to what we are brought up to, justice for the individual subordinates to the profits of organizations in reality. Yet, rarely do we Japanese openly talk or acknowledge that. By the age of 10, I felt that becoming an adult meant learning to ignore unfairness for the sake of propriety.

But when I began listening to heavy metal bands like Helloween, Europe and Queensryche in the late 80s, I realized there was a different way of life. At 14, I heard Helloween’s song "I'm Alive." I remember thinking "Yes, I am still alive." Heavy metal, with its message of believing in and standing up for oneself, inspired me to begin writing my own music to demonstrate my opinion about society. Soon, I resolved that I would one day tour overseas with my own band like they did.

To build toward my goals, I entered Kansai Gaidai (Foreign Languages) University in 1993 to study English. Meanwhile I started a part time course in a music college--Koyo Ongaku Gakuin--in 1996. I graduated from the University in 1997 with a Bachelor’s degree in English, and from the music college in 1998 with all courses successfully finished. I performed concerts vigorously as well, while also working part time at a "square" job.

Such a busy life was challenging both physically and mentally. My idealistic and independent principles brought lots of opposition from my family and others. The pressure and extreme fatigue made me ill in January 2001, and I stayed in hospital for about 50 days. I had to give up music for more than a year to concentrate on the following medical treatment, but I didn’t give up my resolve. On the contrary, it made my will even harder. I told myself that if one small Japanese girl could accomplish her dream getting over her difficulty for all to see, maybe some people would realize what one person could do, and begin to live their dreams instead of only adjusting heartlessly to be a part of the system.

I had recovered by summer 2002, and flew all alone to Germany, a country whose language I didn’t understand, and in which I had no friends. Although most people called my aspiration impossible, my determination brought encounters with new people there and made it possible. I released two albums worldwide, toured Europe, and performed at the world’s biggest festival. Achieving these, I felt I had finished my task. So I halted my music activity and went back to Japan in spring 2006.

Since then, almost all foreigners, and Japanese with experience abroad, whom I've met, tell me that they are impressed by my communication style and insight coming from my experience both in Japan and other countries. They say I am the rare Japanese who can show opinions clearly in English, and advise me to use my skill more effectively. Now I feel I shouldn’t finish my struggle at this point. I feel a responsibility to speak out for my country. Perhaps I should start from translating some of our important texts into English in order to introduce its culture and people. For that, I would like to improve my English further.

In Europe, I saw that children were strictly disciplined when young, but that as they got older, they were taught to assert themselves to get more rights. In contrast, Japanese children have a lot of freedom and rights, but as they grow up they are taught to relinquish them. While Japanese children don’t apologize for something they have no fault in, many Japanese adults would rather apologize, simply to avoid conflict. When people are not taught to assert themselves on a personal level, how can their country declare its ground? To me, this is a symptom of one of Japan's problems in the world community. I feel Japan is developing misunderstandings on the national level by this attitude of not speaking out. If no one explains more clearly, it may lead to unnecessary conflicts with other countries and eventually have a negative impact not only on Japan but also on other countries.

I can study English at many universities, but I feel a spiritual connection especially with Leiden University because of its historical relationship with Japan. As the oldest university in the Netherlands, it introduced Japanese studies for the first time to Europe. It had samurais from the Edo period as students as well. Also, I expect students to be more diverse in the Netherlands than in the US or UK. Studying in such an internationalized surrounding under highly-qualified professors will surely enrich my life, not only by improving my English, but also by exposing me to a more global point of view and sundry values. The words on my promotional postcard I have enclosed encompass my philosophy of life: "May everyone live his life as he wishes, the one and only life on this earth, to his glorious day." Likewise, I believe that each nation has its unique beauty and destiny. Leiden's curriculum and history demonstrate that it is the best place for me to foster these values.

Finally, I have enclosed one of my albums. Anyone who wants to know about me can best learn who I am from my lyrics, pictures and music.